the ideal husband
6,154 Tweets
the ideal husband @naz
  naz.lnk.to/DownhillLullab…     Joined September 2008
96 Following      622k Followers
Followed by Twin Peaks on Showtime, Rostam, and 26 others you follow
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the ideal husband @naz ∙ Mar 7
i'm really sad today because ami mizuno is in retrograde                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 24 any ob-gyns in brooklyn wanna give me a free pap smear? you can livestream it                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 24 everyone asking for deets on my dentist - he didn't pay for #ad space on twitter, i dare not utter his name here sorry not sorry i know my worth! anyway i need a flu shot                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 24 my dentist offered me a free cleaning if i gave him a shout out on instagram and obviously i said yes but how do i parlay this energy into more free healthcare                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 23 oh no david koch is dead that's so sad alexa please stream cross you out by british sensation @Charli_XCX featuring elusive chanteuse naz https://lnk.to/CrossYouOut                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 23 i see celebs getting honorary doctorates all the time, so how do i get an honorary ged? any high school principals out there wanna hook me up?                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 23 on a scale of 1 to crispin glover in his starring turn as clowny clown clown, how is your mental health today?                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 23 love people who read on the train! do not love people who refuse to tilt their books forward so i can read along with them! selfish                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 23 about to go on instagram live and take everyone through my skincare routine, please tune in if the thought of watching me scrub my face raw while i lip sync to willa ford's seminal classic "i wanna be bad" sounds appealing                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 23 caw caw caw crows sometimes have sex with their dead caw caw caw                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 22 would like to state for the record that the italian-american was a role in a film student's short that would've shot in death valley and paid me in etsy gift cards. turning down my dream was really hard. i'm so so so strong                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 22 looking how i look and not wanting to play italian, latinx, arab, etc, makes working in hollywood really hard! so does being only vaguely talented but i'm trying to make a statement here so let's not focus on my mediocrity please                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 22 the last role i got offered was for an italian-american so um no probably not

mirsad @mirsyn
Replying to @naz
do you think you'll do another film btwn now and masochism's release in 2022???? we miss seeing your face queen
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 22 gus van sant is also alive just in case anybody was worried                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 21 have received word that francis ford coppola is not dead, taking back my rip for a later date                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 21 lars von trier and nicolas winding refn look like the same man in different evolutionary phases. is this a white male director with three names thing? francis ford coppola also fit this timeline, rip                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 21 when i die i want lars von trier to eat my ashes                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 20 yeah i had to google the plural of bacchanal, get off my back                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 20 the emo bachelorette is exactly like the original flavor bachelorette but with more dashboard confessional soundtracked bacchanalia                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 20 i would like to make a proposal: @gretekane as the emo bachelorette                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 19 some of you are unimpressed by my accomplishments today... fair! but also those tangles were huge and how dare you                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 19 today i brushed the knots out of my hair and got so tired afterward i had to have a lie down

Naz XCX @pastelplums
Replying to @naz
145 days since downhill lullaby released and still no follow up single, album release date or anything. naz what are you doing?
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 19 my manager just texted me asking to see a screenshot of my "twitter drafts" and to that i say lmao lmao lmao rofl rofl rofl imagine thinking i ruminate over anything i tweet for longer than 10 seconds! the audacity!                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 19 not one single word, zero words, negative number of words, that's why it's so good

Naz Updates @nazupdates
Replying to @naz
How much of Cross You Out did you write???
the ideal husband Retweeted
ཌབསཕངད> @bodyofmyown ∙ Aug 15
Can’t believe Charli XCX is releasing Naz music before Naz herself I’m speechless                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 18 hey it's saturday please continue sexually or non-sexually enjoying cross you out, a song which features me breathing heavily https://lnk.to/CrossYouOut                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 17 ready and willing to say stupid shit like "bury me in the criterion closet"                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 17 where do i file my application to become a card carrying member of film twitter? i can provide references                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 17 wrestle me you intolerable peasant i need more billy from stranger things

mewtwo @mewtwo
the sommer brothers were AMAZING tonight and idk why roy is wasting any of his time with acting because the stage is where he BELONGS. FIGHT ME
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 16 hello it's friday have you masturbated to @Charli_XCX's smash single cross you out yet? it features me so multiple orgasms are totally possible https://lnk.to/CrossYouOut                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 15 hot girl summer and sad girl bummer can and should exist in harmony                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 15 my mom facetimed me from her plastic surgeon's office today to share with me all the ways in which my face can be improved by knife or syringe, i am so blessed                        
the ideal husband @naz ∙ Aug 14 nyc, where's the easiest spot to take the driving test? of note: i'm a very bad driver and you should maybe try to sabotage me for the good of us all                        

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